Thursday, January 27, 2011

...and now it is time to play: HIPPIE or ZOMBIE?

The following images have not been used with permission, except for the fact THEY WERE POSTED ON THE INTERNET. Seriously, what did you think was going to happen when you threw them up on the world wide web?

America's favorite game... apparently football, which suggests that Americans are much cooler than everyone else in the world which is why it is okay for us to have lots of stuff made by little kids who live in countries that don't like football. Sorry kids. You had to have seen this coming, though. Do you have any idea what an onside kick is? No? Well then, it is a little hard for me to feel bad for you. Thanks for the three dollar *Spydeerman T-shirt, by the way.

So...if you like football, you will LOVE Hippie or Zombie?

The rules are simple. In fact, they are the exact same rules as football, but with the added element where you have to correctly identify whether you are looking at a hippie(s) or a zombie(s). If you incorrectly identify an image it is a ten yard penalty and you lose one field goal.
Ready to play? Good.

Hippie or Zombie?

Some classic giveaways here. First, there is the obvious red paste rubbed on her neck which is a holistic treatment used to remove capitalism stains from your aura. Second tell tell "that's definitely a hippie" sign are those stupid eye contacts that change your eye color to match a rainbow, or your birth stone, or in her case, a urinal cake in a broken gas station bathroom. Your third giveaway is the teeth. Someone hasn't been brushing...and really, why should she? After all, dental hygiene is all just a big capitalist conspiracy between the government, dentists, and toothpaste companies anyway. Obviously they are going to to tell you that you should brush 3 times a day and go to your dentist twice a year. Our girl in the photo above, she is too smart for those fat cats.

and again: Hippies or Zombies?


Did you guess hippies? Easy mistake to make. Here you have a group of people gathered for a communal meal while defying conventions like cooking, using utensils, and not eating humans. Consequently, it is very easy to mistake this for a group of hippies. The zombie clue here is what you are not seeing. Nowhere is there anything certifying their meal as 100% certified organic, and in this case, republican free. This here is a classic zombie mauling followed by feeding frenzy.

How are you doing so far? When the Zombie apocalypse rolls around will you be running out of the forest because you thought you stumbled into a rainbow gathering and were about to be the center of a naked bearded love circle or because you were about to get eaten alive by zombies?

Try this one: Hippie or Zombie?

Did you say Hippie?
Seriously, answer the question! Did you say hippie? Because if you said hippie I am going to punch myself in the face. That is Rob **F. Zombie, of White Zombie. He beats up six hippies every morning BEFORE breakfast! Oh man, I hope you did not say hippie...
If you did say zombie, I will only give you credit if you specified "Zombie," as in Robert's last name and that he is a member of the Zombie family, son of Mr. & Mrs. Zombie (who won the Best Sock Puppet performance at the 1988 Zombie family reunion).

Hippie or Zombie?
Swamp Zombie...
jk! That's totally a hippie

That is pure, 100% hippie, my friends. Interesting note here- Disenfranchised by the commodifying and marketing of patchouli in the U.S., but still interested in maintaining his hippie street cred, this hippie is actually growing his own patchouli right on his body. He applies seed in the spring and a few months later, voilé, his patchouli is already applied just like all the other hippies, except he didn't have to sell out by purchasing it from the man's economic machine. The other giveaway was the joint he's toking. Zombies eat brains. They don't smoke pot.

Want more? Well stay tuned, because more is coming.

*Half spy, half deer, all awesome!
Strengths: spy capabilities, grazing, wearing superhero costumes that are VERY similar to those of other superheros, & giving very young children the opportunity to make his merchandise for 12 to 16 hours per day.
Weakness: Headlights, Child labor activists

**Fuking (it's German)

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