Thursday, June 30, 2011

and now, ladies and gentleman, the Incredible Typing Bear brings you...

GOOD!/...not so good

GOOD: You're having sex!

...not so good: she starts looking at her phone...

GOOD: She just posted on facebook,“This is SOOOOO amazing!!!”

...not so good: and attached a link to a scrap-booking coupon website.

(don't really go here, especially if your having sex right now...not so good; remember?)

GOOD: Updates facebook status again to say "Gotta go so I can play with my furry best friend!!!"

(Hey! I'm furry. This IS good!)

...not so good: posts the following photo captioned "My furry best friend":

GOOD: double entendre window left WIDE open!

...not so good: she is also currently reading this:

(Honey, could you close that double entendre window please. It's getting horny in here.)

"Daddy, why is that ballon in the middle popped?"
"It's a phallic metaphor, son. How many times do I have to explain this to you?"

Friday, June 17, 2011

When They Were Children: Evil Super Villans (from the Green Lantern)

PARALLAX: Mom, me and Sinestro are going to go play down at the forbidden core, Okay?

PARALLAX’S MOTHER: Okay dear, but don’t go anywhere else and don’t go too close to the sun. I know you think it’s a great time and all, but an all powerful, fear consuming entity of your um, know what the doctor said about your...size.

PARALLAX: Ahhh, Mom. Stop worrying all the time. I’m almost 250 million years old. I can take care of myself.

PARALLAX’S MOTHER: I only worry because I love you, Parallax. You know, it’s all fun and games until someone gets burned... and reduced to atomic particles by a nuclear furnace of planet sustaining energy. How much fun would you be having then, when you’re nothing more than the energy powering some hippy’s solar powered NPR radio he got when he donated $250 during last springs pledge drive? Is that what you want?

PARALLAX: No, Mother.

PARALLAX'S MOTHER: Good. Now go and play and don’t be late for lunch. I’m making your favorite, Fear Energy Soup with those goldfish crackers.

PARALLAX: Ok. Thanks mom. See ya!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...