Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Restoring My Faith in Humanity- The 80 MPH Hero

not a reader? the video you're looking for is at the bottom of the page.  Seriously though, you should probably consider reading more.  I know.  I know. "The porn won't watch itself," you're thinking to yourself.  Turns out you don't have to worry about that because  there are already A LOT of people watching it for you right now.  So go ahead, take a break and look at some words.  You'll be glad you did.  Later, maybe we could get together and listen to some Bee Gees? 
You don't have to decide right now.  Take your time.  I understand.

Listening to the news everyday can really get a bear down.  The world is a sad, cruel place where everyone is in it for themselves.  No one shares anymore.  We all sit at home, sad and alone, and wonder why we should even try to keep stayin' alive.
...I listen to the Bee Gees when I'm sad.  
So what? 
Don't be a dick about it.
Remember I'm also a bear.  When bears are sad they listen to the Bee Gees.  If you would stop watching Jersey Shore long enough to take in an hour or two of some quality programming like the documentary Grizzly Man, for example, you would know about a blue bear's love for the Bee Gees.  Also, when bears are feeling blue we like to eat people who are dicks about listening to the Bee Gees when we're feeling a bit like  mister sad-bear.
You see that?  One man spent the last 13 years crossing boundaries...a.k.a. being a dick about depressed bears listening to the Bee Gees.  You want to guess how that worked out for him?

All I'm trying to say here is that sometimes the state of the world gets me depressed and that's when I like to listen to the Bee Gees and eat dicks.   

That's why the simple, selfless act of a young newlywed husband has resonated so profoundly with me.  
When Travis Chambers found himself experiencing one of the most beautiful experiences a human can have, yes, I'm talking about an encounter with a self assured dumb person, he could have just enjoyed it by himself and deprived millions upon millions of people the happiness that comes from pointing a finger and laughing at unbelievable vanity paired with stupidity.
Fortunatley for all of us, this mountain of a man, this modern day hero, chose to press the record button and the upload to youtube button on his camera phone so that we could all laugh at his wife WITH him.  I get goosebumps AND choked up just thinking about the words "I can run one mile in 7 minutes and that's a 10."   It is just so, SO beautiful.  
See for yourself, and don't forget to thank this great man for what he has given us and wish him luck in his quest to end what is certainly going to be a very long streak of involuntary celibacy followed by divorce.  Don't you worry, Travis Chambers, your sacrifice for all of us has not gone unnoticed.  We thank you.  We thank you 2,929,139 times (as of 12:47 p.m. MST Wed. March 21).  I expect we will continue to thank you many, many, MANY more times.

1 comment:

  1. "I can run one mile in 7 minutes and that's a 10."

    Because people who are this self absorbed are only capable of math through themselves and their own experiences.


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