ALTERNATE ENDINGS, DELETED SCENES, AND BLOOPERS from Fantabulous

You may have seen "Fantabulous" over at http://www.mostlytruestuff.com/
...here is what you didn't see.

"Now that's an alternate ending!" - John Steinbeck


Devil and Angel are quite the Chatty Kathys...

Dear People Viewing This Blog Right Now

Dear People Viewing This Blog Right Now,

       Keep up the good work.  I'm so damn proud of you...promised myself I wouldn't cry...

     All of my love-
              The Incredible Typing Bear

P.S. also Spence...all of his love too. ALL OF IT

The Grossest Tub Water & Friends

Sometimes you may not find that special someone who you want to start a family with until later in life,
but sometimes you do and it is your older sister, Rachael.


The grossest tub water...

SCIENTISTS UNCOVER STRONG LINK BETWEEN PREGNANCY AND NUDE PHOTOGRAPHY

Scientists at the Institute of Important Research (IIR) have found a strong link between pregnant woman and nude photography.  "It is unclear whether they are more prone to have their pictures taken nude because they are pregnant or if they've always really liked having their picture taken and now have no clothes that fit- like, none at all" stated head researcher Dr.-ish S. Richardson.  "At this point in time we are continuing our research into the matter unless we get bored."  The group will maybe be submitting a study to be published at some point.

A naked pregnant woman, attracted by the camera, wanders into a photographer's photo of some boring brush.
The photographer, commenting on the incident said "She followed me around for the rest of the day, even 
once it started raining. It was the strangest thing."

Tip Toe Dance Hearts Afire: A Ballet by Spence Roper

ACT I

Scene 1

Music begins. 

Scene opens. 10 ballerinas enter, dancing on their toes.  Not actually dancing on toes, like they're not stepping on the other ballerina's toes, they're all tip toe ballet dancing. This goes on for an hour or so.

A guy enters, also tip toe dancing.  Ballerinas see this, giggle uncomfortably.  The guy gets very embarrassed, runs off stage.

end of scene 1

end of act I

ACT II

Scene 1

Music begins.

Scene opens and we see 10 ballerinas enter and they're tip toe dancing again.  Looks to be business as usual, but no, here comes the guy, also tip toe dancing again.  Ballerinas look at each other and begin to do "Is This Guy For Real?" ballet dance move. 

Then guy jumps.  It's pretty high.  Ballerinas are impressed because hey, turns out this guy is good at jumping.  

Really good.  

While jumping, guy gets run in tights.  Is embarrassed because he bought cheap tights. Leaps off stage blushing.

end of scene 1

scene 2

Music begins.

Scene 2 opens to reveal Ballerinas dancing on toes and also sticking legs in air. They're very flexible and it shows. All ballerinas are excited about the guy who jumps, even though he tip toe dances a lot and is a cheapskate when it comes to tights.

One ballerina, however, is not that impressed.  Is doing "Meh, he's just ok" dance and is not tip toe dancing at all. Other 9 ballerinas see her and all begin the "Just ignore her, she always does this" dance.

end of scene 2

end of Act II

ACT III

Scene 1

Music begins

Scene opens and we see guy, with new, much higher quality tights that only cost him a few dollars more than the cheep-o tights he had been wearing before do "face palm" dance followed by "I won't be buying cheap tights again any time soon" dance.

The 9 ballerinas see his new much higher quality tights and all become very excited, despite fact he is now tip toe dancing VERY confidently. The 10th ballerina remains unimpressed.  Guy sees this and tip toe dances enthusiastically over to her . Unimpressed 10th Ballerina sees this and begins laughter dancing but not a "I love a man who can make me laugh" dance. It's the "mean mocking laughter" dance.

Guy jumps.  10th ballerina is not impressed.  Guy jumps 3 more times.  10th ballerina does "Oh Wow, this guy is the real deal. I'm totally on board now" dance followed by "So now what?" dance.

Guy takes ballerina's hand with one hand and puts other hand on her vagina area and lifts her up over his head. Guy tip toe dances and they spin around.  Guy lowers ballerina and they pretend to kiss (because guy is very gay which is pretty common in ballet and he already had to touch a vagina so a real kiss would have been a little much to ask of him. Those guys have been through enough already).

end of scene 1

end of ACT III

end of ballet

The Last Mother's Day Poem (or Spence Roper's Mother's Day Poem to the Mother of [most of] His Children Who is Also His Wife)

Never stop trying...inspirational meme...Get your tissues ready

Tom Clark, comedian, actor, writer, life coach, and some other great things, said this and I was so moved I put this little meme together because I was thinking about chickens who try to fly even though they can't.  Really, the best they can do is jump kind of far, but that doesn't mean they should stop trying.  It's not like they've got anything better to do. They're chickens.