You Need to See This. You Really Need To.

http://bearmageddon.com/2011/08/01/page-1/

New Super Fun Card Game Just For Boys!

Hey kids! It's the new SUPER FUN card game JUST FOR BOYS!
JERRY SANDUSKY'S HORSE PLAY CARD GAME


Once you've played it, you'll never forget it!  Never Ever!
AND      
You can play it anywhere!  At home,  in the locker room, even IN THE SHOWER!!!

Just how fun is JERRY SANDUSKY'S HORSE PLAY CARD GAME?  It's so much fun even Joe Paterno wouldn't stop you from playing it!  That's right.  The man who ate, slept, drank, and  breathed only football wouldn't have stopped you from playing JERRY SANDUSKY'S HORSE PLAY CARD GAME.
THAT'S PRACTICALLY AN ENDORSEMENT by THE Joe Paterno!

Supplies are dwindling so act now.  In fact, it's truly amazing, I mean LITERALLY UNBELIEVABLE that there are still card games available for purchase so don't delay and get yours today!


JERRY SANDUSKY'S HORSE PLAY
      a card game for boys
-the game that is practically endorsed by JOE PATERNO!


to learn more about where you can purchase this go here:  http://content.usatoday.com/communities/campusrivalry/post/2012/02/sanduskys-image-on-sale-at-state-college-shop/1#.T00cVvEgd2A

SURPRISE! ...Easter Egg/Landmine

When you step on something you weren't expecting and it blows you away...
while watching a DVD menu...you get this.

Mother Pucker Face...Just Like Mom Used to Make: Feeding Habits and Food Preferences for Bears

People are always coming up to me and saying things like "You're a bear, right?  What is your favorite thing to eat?"

I suppose it is time to answer that question.

I love berries. Hold the pee, though.  Seriously.  I will eat nothing but berries, 24/7, but if you bring me a pee berry, the deal is off.  I have this uncle, Uncle Growly, and if he finds pee on his berries...wow...yikes...don't pee on his berries.  Just a friendly tip from me to you.

Anyways...when I'm not eating 100% urine free berries, I like to eat a bear delicacy called rawrrr grrr rar rar GrraARRR grarr which  basically translates to pucker face (it loses a little in translation, i'm not going to lie, but you get the idea).

I went to a bear recipe blog and pulled a few fun, delicious, and easy to prepare/catch pucker face examples I wish I had IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW.  Pucker face is the best!

Pedi-pucker face

This one is good because you can usually catch it online and have it come to you.

That looks so good. Hopefully that is apple orchard fragrance hair gel.
Sometimes pedophiles use Axe  hair gel and although I don't hate it, it gives me terrible gas

Pucker Face a la Roofie

This is great because of all the different possibilities. 

Prepared correctly, you can do whatever you want to it.

I would totally hit that...with my paw, rendering it unconscious, then I'd get as much of it in my mouth as I could
and then just chew and swallow, chew and swallow.
Sometimes how much you enjoy pucker face is dependent on HOW you eat it.

Oh man!  I love pucker face so much.  That with a side of berries.  Yes please.  I would totally be in heaven.

SOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOoooooo YUMMY!

Asian Pucker with Mystery Marinade

a.k.a. A Part of Him, Sneaky Uncle Trent Puckin Pucker, 

Lonely Pucker Special

It's an acquired taste. I'll just say that.

I've actually had a part of him in my mouth but he was marinated in something,
I think it was scotch...or possibly urine, but I didn't finish it.  Just wasn't for me.
Asian bears though, I think you know who I'm talking about...cough cough Pandas...
They can't get enough of this Pucker Face.  They have a whole website dedicated to eating it.

Pucker at Your Own Risk

Watch out for questionable pucker face.
My best friend's brother's uncle, a black bear from Wyoming, got hepatitis C
 from eating some pucker face like this that he bought from a street vendor
while attending a Bears in the Workplace Convention for his work as an HR associate manager.

If you're wanting to put away some serious pucker face in the ol' bear belly or just want to try all 33 varieties of pucker face and don't mind the geriatric crowd, I'd suggest:

Puck-A-Rama Pucker Face Buffet

from the menu:

If you choose this option I highly recommend
 the Puck-A-Rama Maul 'em, Munch 'em Brunch. Yum! Pucker Face Buffet Brunch It's every Tuesday and Thursday from 10 am-1 pm.
 If you love brunch, buffets, and pucker face you are really in for a treat.

Puck-A-Rama Pucker Face Buffet. All 33 varieties of pucker face all day everyday
and remember, Monday night is family night and on  Family night
EAT KIDS FREE!

MEDICINAL PUCKER FACE

What? It's medicinal.  It's for my glaucoma...obviously. Sheesh.

DON'T BE FOOLED: THINGS THAT RHYME WITH

 PUCKER FACE

There a few things commonly mistaken for pucker face which are NOT. Don't feel bad if you have already confused one or several of the following examples with pucker face.  It's certainly happened to me more than once.

TRUCKER FACE

Oops. NOT pucker face.  Don't feel bad. Like I said,  it's an easy mistake to make.

****ER FACE

I should warn you, the following photo is probably not suitable for children.

ER face got mixed up with pucker face quite a bit 10-15 years ago but is much less common now.
Most children today wouldn't even know they had this option to confuse with pucker face, so why
show it to them? It's just one less thing they will accidentally mistake for pucker face.

FUCKER FACE

"Oops, I did it again," sang the greatest artist who ever lived.  Hey, it happens.
Did you know there is a statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bear rug? Well, there is.

...and finally

SUCKER FACE

WARNING: POSES MEDICAL RISK TO DIABETICS

Make sure you always have your insulin ready in case of a mix-up, diabetics, because you can never be too safe, right?

SUMMING IT UP...

So, to those people I mentioned earlier, who wondered what my favorite things to eat were, I guess my short answer would be: berries and pucker face, unpeed on.

Thanks for asking.

...and now a word from our sponsor, NO2:

Pictures of doctors with patients have proven that
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE....

THE BEST MEDICINE FOR LAUGHTER IS

NITROUS OXIDE.

Nitrous Oxide has been proven in countless scientific experiments conducted by kids whose dads are dentists to cause laughter and also get kids to pretend to like you. 

 Ask your doctor to stop being a drug company sellout and have him get you some of that nitrous oxide.

  Don't let something silly, like the law, keep you from getting the medicine you need.

Side effects may include laughing at Dane Cook and blog posts that are stupid.

This message paid for by the Illegal Drug Trafficking Association

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME

My wife and I have been getting along really well lately...a little TOO well. So I decided to take action and get in trouble so things could get back to normal.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try this at home.

Still makes me giggle...it says "Tits NOW"

...that's better...

Famous Bear Sports Quotes That Have Existed for a Long Time

"You may itch with the need to compete and conquer over your rivals.

You may burn with a desire to win so intense it overshadows any pain you endure on the path to victory...

But it is not until you ITCH and BURN between your toes from a skin fungus that you can be certain you have at last attained...The Athlete's Foot. 


Only then may you know without any doubt that you have finally become an athlete...that really should try to wash his feet better while showering..and maybe try that pee on your feet trick too...It works really well...I've heard."