Monday, July 25, 2011

Look, bra. No Hands: New Skills for the Ol' Resume.

Preface Note: Seeming as how the incredible typing bear is a bear, it shouldn't come as a huge surprise to discover he may also dabble in the outdoor industry as a clothing buyer. Bears live outdoors almost exclusively and with that kind of daily exposure to the elements one becomes familiar with the necessary apparel required to make roughing it a little less hairy. Like I just said, a bear in the outdoor clothing industry shouldn't really come as much of surprise. This is just a little preface to bear in mind as you review this update in his resumé skills.

When it comes to bras, I've always considered myself pretty handy...

On every job application I have ever filled out, whenever I would reach the section where it asks, "What are your skills with bras? Check all boxes that apply," I have always only checked two boxes:  the "Undoing bra with one hand while making out" box

and the "looking at bras's for my wife, I swear" box.
Special padding lifts up and out, instantly adding up to 2 full cup sizes for maximum cleavage and fullness?
Bravo, Victoria's Secret. Bravo. That truly is... Miraculous®
...don't you think, Honey?

With the experience I have gained in my current line of work, it dawned on me today as I was hanging and sorting hundreds of bras that from here on out I can also now check the "Merchandising bras in a retail setting" box.
You see this? Not on my watch you don't!
Not on my watch...
Mannequin boobs get the coverage and support they deserve when I'm on the clock.

So take note, potential employers. There is an untapped bra experience gold mine out there, and you are reading his blog RIGHT NOW; also sometimes he eats campers.

...but sometimes he doesn't...


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