GET READY TO RIDE THE MUSHROOM CLOUD!

...it's almost here...

WE knew...

-- Photos shared with Fish Bowl Photo Gallery. http://www.pixiereef.com

Coming This Christmas...

This Christmas the incredible typing bear is excited to bring to you one of the greatest stories of our time, the first of The Fun Cute Kids series:

 The Fu-cute Kids 

Take on The Child Beauty Pageant Terrorist Robot

12/25

Facebook Poetry Inspired by Loving Facebook Friends and Facebook Family

(yes, I did "like" my own post.  It was REALLY good. What's your point?)

I would just like to thank everyone who put as much thought into their suggestions as I did into this heartfelt poem inspired by this holiday season and screaming kids and NOT condoms.

THE FAMILY MAN

or

ADVICE FOR PARENTS AND KIDS AND SOME GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEAS TO HELP WITH SPELLING

I’ve got a pen and a shovel

and I’m a digging A HOLE

In my backyard.

It’s cheap BIRTH CONTROL.

I teach my kids angles

both acute and OBTUSE.

and When they get it right

I give them some JUICE.

If their shoes are untied I say

“Hey kids, YOU’RE LOOSE.

Tie those up tight,

or I’ll kick your CABOOSE.”

My kids should be thankful

That they have a hot mom...

I hope they never get caught

searching RYHMEZONE.COM.

A blue person in college

Is called a SMURF ENROLL.

They turned blue from a pill

for PENILE GIRTH CONTROL.

If you ask for a color

and someone tells you “CHARTREUSE”

It’s safe to say

that person’s a DOUCHE.

You won’t have any kids

If you’re a RECLUSE,

though the Guy on a buffalo

Might drop off a PAPOOSE.

for “deffinately”

there is no EXCUSE.

As a child, your parents

should have used more abuse.

I suggest this Christmas

A toy that should get some use

would be one made from ropes.

I’d call it “the NOOSE.”

The Following Conversation is NOT Real

This is a conversation via text that did not happen.  It is completely fictional, created for your enjoyment, and did not actually happen on Saturday, December 10 between 2:14 and 2:20 pm with an actual person I have a real relationship with.