The following conversation is real. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent...because no one was innocent.

1:04 PM me: hey duesche. Why are you so dueschy. JK ;b

but seriously, why the dueschiness?

11 minutes

1:16 PM Trent: hey easy w/ that s**t

i've never used summer's eve

1:17 PM me: haven't you, Trent?

(dramatic pause)

haven't you?

Trent: (trent looks down....)

yes.

yes, i have.

me: (pats Trent's shoulder)

Now was being honest so hard?

1:18 PM Trent: (sniff sniff)

no....

me: Now,

I'm going to be honest with you.

(makes direct eye contact)

You are a duesche.

(kicks trent in the nuts)

1:19 PM Trent: all the reasons trent hates Spence

me: ...and loves him.

it's complicated

1:20 PM Trent: so true