Things a pretensious bush might say: "I don't think I'm better than other plants just because of that whole Moses and the burning bush incident. Okay, yes, obviously God thinks we are better, and it's true, I've never seen a Bible made from bush pulp, but me, personally, I'm just not the type of plant that is going to run around acting all holier than thou just because I'm favored by God."
Duesche plants: "...I know you're thinking, "he's just a shrub," but I'm going to let you in on a little secret- I'm one quarter Redwood. You know what they say about Redwoods, right? I'm telling you now, it's true. Don't let these little leaves and stubby twigs fool you. I'm all redwood where it counts."
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