Sunday, December 25, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Coming This Christmas...
This Christmas the incredible typing bear is excited to bring to you one of the greatest stories of our time, the first of The Fun Cute Kids series:
The Fu-cute Kids
Take on The Child Beauty Pageant Terrorist Robot
12/25
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Facebook Poetry Inspired by Loving Facebook Friends and Facebook Family
I would just like to thank everyone who put as much thought into their suggestions as I did into this heartfelt poem inspired by this holiday season and screaming kids and NOT condoms.
THE FAMILY MAN
or
ADVICE FOR PARENTS AND KIDS AND SOME GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEAS TO HELP WITH SPELLING
I’ve got a pen and a shovel
and I’m a digging A HOLE
In my backyard.
It’s cheap BIRTH CONTROL.
I teach my kids angles
both acute and OBTUSE.
and When they get it right
I give them some JUICE.
If their shoes are untied I say
“Hey kids, YOU’RE LOOSE.
Tie those up tight,
or I’ll kick your CABOOSE.”
My kids should be thankful
That they have a hot mom...
I hope they never get caught
searching RYHMEZONE.COM.
A blue person in college
Is called a SMURF ENROLL.
They turned blue from a pill
for PENILE GIRTH CONTROL.
If you ask for a color
and someone tells you “CHARTREUSE”
It’s safe to say
that person’s a DOUCHE.
You won’t have any kids
If you’re a RECLUSE,
though the Guy on a buffalo
Might drop off a PAPOOSE.
for “deffinately”
there is no EXCUSE.
As a child, your parents
should have used more abuse.
I suggest this Christmas
A toy that should get some use
would be one made from ropes.
I’d call it “the NOOSE.”
Monday, December 12, 2011
The Following Conversation is NOT Real
This is a conversation via text that did not happen. It is completely fictional, created for your enjoyment, and did not actually happen on Saturday, December 10 between 2:14 and 2:20 pm with an actual person I have a real relationship with.
